Monday, May 26, 2008

Long.....2008?

So far 2008 has been quite a year. We are 89 days away from the wedding and have spent almost an entire month in Vanderbilt hospital. That is entirely too many days in the hospital for reasons no one should ever have to experience. One thing that has confused me a little bit is that so many times in life the only thing that shakes us up are the moments no one ever really wants to go through...such as pancreatic cancer or the death of a little girl. Why is this? Why are these the only moments that we feel so desperate that we are forced to rely on something bigger than ourselves?

I guess the tough moments are the moments where we are truly who we are.

Now we have to kind of keep going and finishing planning the wedding....which we could care absolutely nothing about. Amanda and I felt so bad for dale because his graduation happen to fall on the same day as Maria's memorial service....just an unnecessary juggling of emotions. So kind of a strange day of celebration...new life and a new part of life I guess you could say. I will say this, God moved so powerfully at the memorial service...we could barely stand up.

God truly reveals himself in the moments where we need real, true, and beautiful love. Something His character demands Him to give to us. What a feeling to know we are protected .

89 days from now we get to be husband and wife. We get to live together. We get to live life together. I think we are ready for a new part of life....and although it has been a tough 2008 thus far, we are so thankful for the knowledge and life experience we have gained. I am not really sure if this blog makes any sense....just trying to get some of this out of my head. Please be praying for our other little brothers and their family as they are working through this moment. God is very real though and has been so true to His character.

On a semi fun note....although I did get in a wreck three weeks ago, Amanda and I are buying a VW Golf this week or next. Watch out Franklin! We will be rolling around in a pimp daddy car..?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Revelations-Read if You Dare!

I would say a good majority of our past year or so has been spent trying to figure out what spirituality is really all about. One of the cool things about when Amanda and I met is the fat that we were both kind of on this new journey of "Where is God in the world now?" I can personally say that there were quite a few nights when I was on Winter Jam that I would sit in the front of the bust till 3Am just trying to figure out if I believed that God even existed.

The hard thing about going through a point like this in your life is that the Christian world today tends to scream/present a message that says something must be wrong with you if you are not happy and trusting in God all of the time.

I was listening to a Rob Bell message today, ironically titled "I Dont Know" (well sort of ironic since the title was what caught my attention), and was reminded that it is perfectly, if not Biblically okay for us to be confused, distressed, worried, and doubting the very things we believe. There is no reason a person can not be so close to the heart of God and yet at the same time be in a place where they are fighting to believe in that very thing they are so close to.

Think about this in terms of relationships...another area where the church presents this daisies and roses message some of the time. You can be totally in love with a person and yet have to fight every step of the way to keep a relationship together. Now I dont say that to scare anyone about Amanda and I, but it is something we both noticed about relationships, especially when it comes to being engaged. We are now firm believers in a long engagement because it gives you the chance to get to know the person you are engaged to before you are married...because it is nothing like dating.

God is so much bigger than our crap! He is so much bigger than our doubts, questions, angst, etc. Another interesting point Rob Bell made was to doubt our doubts because we doubt a lot. We doubt if God is there, doubt if we can make it through a certain situation, doubt if a relationship is going to work, doubt if we have enough money to live, etc. Doubt your doubts. Prove them wrong. Call them out.

Okay now that I am off of my soap box....Amanda and I are doing so well. We have a place to live, a bed, a mattress, some plates...i mean seriously we could survive off of those things. It is kind of crazy and awesome to think about. Our biggest "distress" right now is the fact that my car got totaled two weeks ago and we have to buy a new car. There are so many different options and opinions on what we should do that we just need some clarity. So please pray that God will provide us with the right car and the money to get that car. Wedding is in 96 days and we could not be happier. This engagement has been a very tough season for the both of us. A lot of crazy things happened, but we learned so much about each other that we would never ever want to take that time back. Look forward to seeing you all soon! Invitations are going out the first week of June!

-Team Awesome